Title: Children Make Terrible Pets
Author/Illustrator: Peter Brown
Published: Little, Brown and Company, 2010

Have you ever wandered through a forest and wondered what it would be like to borrow one or ten of the woodland creatures to take home and keep for a pet? Well, I have. So many times. Personally, I’d go for a baby chipmunk or potentially a wayward capybara. (Note: don’t say this never happens…a pair of capybaras escaped from High Park in Toronto a couple of years back…and I’m not gonna lie, I searched the park in hopes of putting a leash on one of those giant rodents and pretending it was my strangely shaped dog.)

Ahem.

Anyway, let’s meet Lucy!

Who’s Lucy? A bear. Lucille Beatrice Bear, to be precise. She is the star of the extremely talented Peter Brown’s book, Children Make Terrible Pets (and subsequently, You Will Be My Friend! – to be reviewed at a later date).

This delightful picture book starts with Lucy practicing her twirls outside (as one does). She notices that someone is watching her…and it turns out to be a human boy! Unfortunately, Lucy cannot understand what he’s saying…but he does squeak rather nicely, so she calls him Squeaker. She decides he will be her pet. Her mom, however, isn’t so sure. She warns Lucy about what a lot of trouble children are, and tries to talk her out of it.

But Lucy knows Squeaker will make a great pet. And at first, he does. They do all kinds of fun things together. They are totally inseparable. (Side note: my favourite picture in the entire book is when Lucy and Squeaker nap together. I looked into getting a print of that picture for my kids…I love it SO much…more on the art in a minute.)

After a little while, Lucy notices that Squeaker isn’t such a perfect pet after all. He throws food! He wrecks the furniture! He’s impossible to potty train. And then…he disappears!

Lucy tracks Squeaker down and finds that he’s returned to his family. She knows, deep down, that that’s where he belongs. With her Mom’s help, she accepts the fact that maybe children do make terrible pets.

…but what about an elephant?

This story is excellent. If you notice, in the picture above, our copy is a wee bit loved. I’ve read this to my girls so many times since they were tiny. My oldest has a special spot in her heart for Lucy (and named one of her teddy bears after her). The art in this book is just lovely to look at. The backgrounds being wood-grain add nicely to the ‘forest-y’ feel of the whole story. Lucy is such a well-designed character and her mom is so funny (I love her half-glasses and pearls). There are so many sweet little scenes in this story, and I would get posters of all of them for my office if I could.

I don’t know who loves this book more, me or my kids! Give it a read and see for yourself – Peter Brown is amazing.

Mama’s review: A+
Vivi’s review: 10 Squeakers/10
Lily’s review: I like the kangaroo costume!

Title: I’m Bored
Author: Michael Ian Black
Illustrator: Debbie Ridpath Ohi
Published: Simon & Schuster, 2012

Know the old nineties song called Flagpole Sitta from Rodney Danger? No? Well, that’s because you’ve got better musical taste than I do and you’re not old like me! But trust me, it was quite the tune. And it had a line that I’ve quoted since first I heard it (much to the chagrin of my children/everyone in my life, really):

“If you’re bored, then you’re boring.”

This is so true. The most interesting people in my life are never, ever bored. Like, even in airports. Even at the dentist. Even at the airport dentist (note: this would be pretty much the absolute WORST place in the world for me).  Anyway, today’s book is all about being bored. And being a potato, but I’ll get to that.

Michael Ian Black has written a really silly, funny book. It’s all about a little girl who is sooooo booooored. Seriously, totally, 100% bored.
Then a potato bonks her on the head. And starts talking to her, hoping to find a flamingo to liven things up. No flamingo materializes, but things DO get more interesting.

The potato, it turns out, thinks that KIDS are really boring. It’s up to the little girl to prove him wrong. And she tries to! She shows the potato how kids can turn cartwheels…how they can spin around and around (until they almost throw up)…how they can imagine that they’re ballerinas or lion tamers or ANYTHING.

But does that impress a potato? No. No it does not. Throughout the book, he mostly says one single phrase: “Boring.”

In the end, the little girl dresses like a potato herself and is still deemed ‘boring.’ She gives up! How can this potato not see how INTERESTING and un-boring she is? Off she storms, full of imagination and plans.  At that moment, along comes the flamingo the potato figured would brighten up his day…the flamingo, however, has but one thing to say:

“I’m bored.”

Cue the giggles! My girls both find this book really funny. As someone who reads a LOT of kid lit, I can only recommend doing a squeaky little-kid voice for the girl and a Mr. Grumpfish-esque voice for the potato. (You know, that grumpy fish that shows up on Bubble Guppies now and then? That guy. He has a great potato voice.)

The art is sweet and simple, and it works really well with the story. The little girl is cute and the potato’s expressions are hilarious…he’s just so darn insistent on being bored. (And, let’s be honest, aren’t ALL potatoes kinda boring?)

Next time your kiddos are bored, bust this one out. If nothing else, they’ll be inspired to fire up their own imaginations…and probably appreciate the fact that they’re not potatoes.

Mama’s rating: 4/5 potatoes
Vivi’s rating: 9/10
Lily’s rating: “That potato is hilarious!”

Title: Hug Machine
Written/Illustrated by: Scott Campbell
Published: Simon and Schuster, 2014

There are few things in this world cuter than toddler hugs. Baby capybaras? Maybe. But toddler hugs are pretty much up there on the ol’ cute scale. This book is about a sweet little boy who gives hugs to literally everyone and everything. Whale? Yup. Porcupine? Sure, why not? Everyone in his neighbourhood? You bet. This little guy cannot be stopped (except to refuel on pizza).

OK, wait, you might say. This sounds like a super-simple concept for a book.

And you’d be right. But it works! Why? Because of the following:

1. As always, the art in a picture book makes all the difference. In this case, it’s sweet and watercolour-y and lovely. Everything is just adorable and looks, well, huggable.
2. There are silly/quirky little bits that make the book funny. When the boy hugs the porcupine, for instance. Or when he does a massive tour of his whole neighbourhood, hugging everyone and culminating in a giant HUG on the next page? Awesome. (And, just a note: if you’re reading this, say “HUG” in a loud, operatic voice. It’s funnier that way.)
3. The ending works. When the hug machine tires of hugging everyone, he gets a hug from…who else? Mom.

This book is a good one to read before bed. It’s a nice way to end the day, leaving your little one with a feeling of being loved before they drift off to sleep. Lily really likes this book, and even though it’s a bit young for her, Vivi still enjoys a good reading of Hug Machine.

Mama’s rating: 5 big hugs/5
Vivi’s rating: 10/10
Lily’s rating: “I like the pizza part!”

Title: The Three Ninja Pigs
Author: Corey Rosen Schwartz
Illustrator: The FABULOUS Dan Santat
Published: Scholastic, 2012

One great day at Scholastic,
An editor thought he might,
Call on his pal Dan,
And to finish his plan,
He’d get his buddy Corey to write!

By joining their incredible forces,
Corey Rosen Schwartz and Dan Santat,
They took an old fave,
Made it cool and brave,
And really fun to read at that!

OK, so writing in limerick isn’t everyone’s forte, but it certainly is Corey Rosen Schwartz’s. When we first got The Three Ninja Pigs, I wasn’t sure if:

1. There might be too many ninjas in the book.
   2. The rhymes would be fun to read aloud (I’m looking at you, awkwardly written Berenstain Bears books).
   3. The book would appeal to my ladies.

After reading The Three Ninja Pigs, I learned:
1. There’s no such thing as too many ninjas.
2. There’s no one who rhymes quite like Corey Rosen Schwartz.
3. The ladies LOVE this book.

We LOVED The Three Ninja Pigs so much, we did a diorama of it for Vivi’s class. I had to read the story aloud to her class and I was a bit concerned about one line:
“Stay out of my hut,
Or I’ll kick your big butt…”
(snicker, snicker)

Anyway, the kids LOVED the story and didn’t even giggle (too much).

The art in this book is absolutely gorgeous. The use of straw, bamboo and cherry blossoms in the backgrounds is so peaceful and contrasts beautifully with the action occurring throughout the book. Being a kids’ book, the ‘violence’ is aimed at inanimate objects and just meant to ‘warn the wolf off’ as opposed to attacking him directly. The story has a happy ending and even a little glossary in the back that explains some of the terms used in the book (Lily loves the word ‘gi’).

My kids are always down for a Dan Santat book and all the more when he’s teamed up with Corey Rosen Schwartz.

Mama Rating: 5 “Kiya’s”/5
Vivi’s Rating: A+
Lily’s Rating: 5 Pig Gi’s/5

Title: Unicorn Thinks He’s Pretty Great
Author/Illustrator: Bob Shea
Published: 2013 Hyperion

Have you ever been the big fish in a small pond, only to have a larger, shinier, cooler fish swim along and wreck everything?

Our book has nothing to do with fish.

It does, however, feature a unicorn that shows up to completely usurp a goat’s place as the cool dude in school.

Goat has all sorts of commendable traits: he bikes to school (Unicorn flies), he makes pretty OK marshmallow squares (Unicorn makes it rain cupcakes), and he does really decent magic. (Unicorn turns stuff into gold. No biggie.)

Goad decides that, based on all the aforementioned evidence, Unicorn is a grade-A dope. That is, until Unicorn shows up and points out some of Goat’s finer points (goat cheese, horns suited to soccer and awesome cloven hooves).

Goat realizes that they could combine their amazing traits to become a super crime-fighting team. Unicorn suggests that maybe they could just be friends and play at the park.

I love this book! I ordered it on a whim after reading about it on another review site. It did not disappoint! The art is nothing short of whimsical. It’s so colourful and the expressions on the characters’ faces are delightful. There are random super-cute characters in the backgrounds throughout the book (a puppy, a kitty, various cupcakes and toast) and they just add to the quirkiness of the book. The ’80’s kid in me totally digs the bright, nearly-neon palette Bob Shea used.

The story itself is a great lesson about friendship. Don’t assume that someone is a certain way. Get to know them! Maybe you’ll find that your skills are complementary!

The girls listened to their fabulous mama and daddy give a reading of this picture book during dessert. (I was the unicorn, in case you were wondering). Vivi really loved Unicorn. Lily liked the part where they became friends. Karl loved being Goat. I think. He didn’t really say that and I didn’t really ask, but his goat performance was top-notch.

Overall Score:
Jess: 5 adorable cupcakes out of 5
Vivi: A
Lily: All the cute toast characters ever

Hello friends! It’s been (checks date of last post) four years since I last posted! Well, the good news is that now my kids are older and I’ll actually have time for this blog! As some of you may (or may not) know, I’m a gigantic kid lit nerd. I love picture books, I’m a huge fan of early reader books, and I currently have 25 YA books checked out of the library just for some light reading.  So I’m going to be posting reviews of some pretty terrific books written by other people. And some awful books too, just for fun. (I actually have a collection of books I do not like.)

My 5-year-old daughter, Vivi, has gamely agreed to give me a kid’s point of view, and, although non-committal when I asked, I’m sure 3-year-old Lily will throw in her two cents here and there. So, without further ado, let’s get started!

Tonight’s review will be of Ben Clanton’s fantastic Narwhal and Jelly graphic novel series. We’ve got the first three books and they’re just…well, they’ve got three winning features, according to Vivi:

1. Narwhal and Jelly are really cute. This is true! The design is so simple, but both characters are really expressive (sort of like Mo Willems’ Elephant and Piggie).

2. The storylines are silly. I like the fact that Narwhal is obsessed with waffles. I like the fact that the crab calls Jelly Jolt ‘Jelly Dolt’ in book 2. I like the whole peanut butter gag in book 3. The books make little to no sense in terms of having a traditional story arc and three-act structure, but who cares? They’re super-fun to read and they appeal to their audience. Win-win!

3. They’re easy enough for a reader to read if they happen to be five, but reading a couple of grade levels above. It’s not easy to find something that’s JUST RIGHT in terms of reading level, but these books fit the bill for Vivi. I’d say they’re kind of perfect for a strong reader at 5, a good reader at 6 and an average reader at 7. There’s not a lot of text on each page, but some of the words aren’t high frequency at all and require decoding skills (‘invisible,’ ‘superpower,’ ‘mustache,’ identity,’ just to mention a few). Vivi likes to hear these books aloud (read ‘with voice’ by moi), but she’s perfectly capable of reading them herself. If you’ve got a clever clogs that devours picture books and wants to move to the next level, give Narwhal and Jelly a try.

If you want to know more about Ben Clanton or Narwhal and Jelly, check out their awesome website: http://www.narwhalandjelly.com/books/

Mama’s grade: 5/5 waffles
Vivi’s grade: A

Title: Perfect Piggies

Author: Sandra Boynton

Age Group: 1-4

The plot, in three sentences or less: From the spring of their tails to their snuffling snouts, piggies are pretty much perfect. Appreciate their wonderful pigginess in this sweet little book!

The Good:

* Sandra Boynton is a fixture on our bookshelf right now. The Grumpkin loves all her work, but Perfect Piggies has been a fast favourite since day dot. I had the whole thing memorized after about three readings.

* There’s a little song at the beginning! Any book with the words “snuffle-dee-dah” in it is A-OK by me.

* The pictures are, as usual, very sweet.

The Bad:

* Remember how I said I had it memorized? Well, it was memorized to the point of circling around in my head, over and over. So many nights I have drifted off to “We are all perfect piggies and we know what we need…” It’s very, very, very catchy. Very.

My Overall Opinion:

This book is going to have to be replaced for the next kiddo, because it has been LOOOOVED by The Grumpkin. Not only have we read it a bazillion times (we have), but we also have pictures of her chewing on it, sitting on it, flipping through it (maybe we take too many pictures?). When she gets into a book, she gets INTO a book. If that doesn’t make you want to go out and buy a copy for your own little ‘un, I don’t know what will!

This is the first review I’ve done of a book that I really, really don’t like. I’m planning on doing a not-so-great book review once a month (that is, the book isn’t so great. The review will be awesome!).

Suffice it to say, these reviews definitely won’t end with my usual “OMG, go out and buy this book NOW!”

I’m going to ruffle some feathers here when I say that I really don’t care for Judith Viorst’s “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”. But honestly, I don’t.
Why?
Because the whole book is about a kid who whines about stuff that really isn’t that bad. Really. And even as a kid, I think most people would realize that maybe Alexander’s a bit…hypersensitive. Yes. Let’s go with that.

Anyway, that aside…

There’s a sequel!

It’s called (wait for it): “Alexander, Who’s Not (Do you hear me? I mean it!) Going to Move”.
Good lord, Judith! Brackets in your title? What’s up with that? Simplify, girlfriend!

So. Alexander is back and ready for more whining! Only this time he’s upset because he has to move. Now, moving IS hard, and it CAN be a traumatizing challenge for a child. But…I have a few issues with the story itself. Ah, let’s just do a good ol’ fashioned list recap, shall we?

Here goes:

1. The story starts out with Alex refusing to move. And why? Because! Somehow, Alex knows that there are no children his own age on his new street (which happens to be a thousand miles away). There are kids his brothers’ ages, though. Because the world is unduly cruel to Alex.

2. Alex decides (based on the lack of boys his own age on his new street) that he will stay where he is. He’ll just move in with the neighbours! I’m sure they’ll be pleased to have a random bratty kid show up on their doorstep!

3. If the whole neighbour thing doesn’t work out, there’s always a tree house. You gotta love the picture of his parents standing below it, searching for their cleverly hidden son. The mother is sobbing…the dad kinda looks like he’s half-assing the search. “No, honey. I don’t see him anywhere. Let’s just go inside and start packing. I’m sure he’ll turn up eventually. Or not. Whatever.”

4. Alex’s brother suggests that Alex might stay at the zoo. I’m with him on that one.

5. Alex has to take one more look at all his ‘special places.’ Alex has to say goodbye to all of his ‘special people’. He complains throughout the entire process. I’m guessing the ‘special people’ are all having a party after Alex leaves. You know, because he’ll be out of their lives forever.

6. Alex decides maybe he’ll hide on his parents right before the moving van leaves. I would encourage this, if I was Alex’s mom. “Sure, son. Try to hide! And we’ll totes look for you. Honest! If we don’t find you right away, it just means you’re winning the game! Goooo you!”

7. Eventually, Alex realizes that he has to move. His parents promise that he’ll be able to call his friends long distance and they assure him that he’ll make some new pals at some point…oh, and they bribe him with a dog.

So…the moral of the story? Throw a big whiny fit when you don’t get what you want, and maybe your dad will buy you a puppy!

Judith, I did not enjoy the first story…and I enjoyed this one even less. Out of ten ridiculously long titles, I give this book a paltry three.