Title: I Don’t Know What to Call My Cat
Author: Simon Philip
Illustrator: Ella Bailey
Published By: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016

I don’t think we’ll ever own a cat. There, I said it. I’ve said it before, to Lily, about a thousand times. But I think, in her heart of hearts, she believes that one day my crippling cat allergies will vanish and a big fluffy kitty will take up residence in our home.

We had a backyard cat for a little while. She (everything is presumed to be a girl until proven otherwise at this house) spent many a day running along our back fence, digging up our garden and making a giant mess in the corner.

I was not a huge fan, is what I’m saying. Cat ownership may not be for me.

But I DO like other people’s cats. My best friend has three cats, all of whom I adore. The girls love patting them and hiding treats for them and occasionally trying to lure one to leave with us.

All that said, today’s book is about cats! More specifically, the difficulty involved in properly naming a cat.

The protagonist of our book, a little girl, finds a cat on her doorstep. She invites it in, feeds it a questionable dinner and then decides to try to find the perfect name for her (this kitty is also presumed to be a girl…more on that in a minute).

Unfortunately, all the names the little girl picks out just aren’t quite right. For instance, calling the cat Kitty ends up inviting half the neighborhood cats over. Princess High-and-Mighty didn’t fit the cat (who hated dresses), nor did any of the charmingly old-fashioned names she tried out (Jane…Ethel…Betty…Pat…Lorraine…I think I had elderly neighbors/relatives/teachers with each of those names).

And then, after a quick trip to the vet, the little girl finds out that her cat is actually a boy.

The little girl thinks she might have a good name for her cat (Mr. Maestro, as he was into playing music), but when she joins the cat’s song-making, he vanishes.

Well, rats. Now she’s down one kitty.*

The little girl heads out to try and find her pet. In her search, she ends up at the zoo. And it’s there that she meets a gorilla named Steve. Who follows her home. And basically destroys her house (in a fun, loving way).

Everything is working out semi-okay, when a representative from the Bureau for Naughty Animals shows up and carts Steve away (back to the zoo, one would hope). The little girl notices that one of the Bureau agents looks surprisingly familiar…it’s her cat! Wearing a stick-on moustache!

Luckily, they’d given the cat a collar (when he was working at the Bureau, I’m guessing) and on it was his name: Tricky! Which, you know, totally fits a cat that was this hard to name.

The art is terrific. It reminds me a bit of Archie Snufflekins Oliver Valentine Cupcake Tiberius Cat. It’s expressive and fun and I love the cats on the back cover, each with their own adorable name.

So, in conclusion, if you have a cat-fan at your house, read this book. And if you’ve got a cat that you’re trying to name…also read this book. It’s got some great suggestions. (I’m partial to Mr. Boots).

*This part reminded me of the Tiny Toons character, Elmira, and how she’d always say “I lose more kitties that way!” when they’d run from her. And then that reminded me that maybe no one else will get this reference because I’m quite possibly old.