C’mon, Alexander. Move already. Seriously. Move.

This is the first review I’ve done of a book that I really, really don’t like. I’m planning on doing a not-so-great book review once a month (that is, the book isn’t so great. The review will be awesome!).

Suffice it to say, these reviews definitely won’t end with my usual “OMG, go out and buy this book NOW!”

I’m going to ruffle some feathers here when I say that I really don’t care for Judith Viorst’s “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”. But honestly, I don’t.
Because the whole book is about a kid who whines about stuff that really isn’t that bad. Really. And even as a kid, I think most people would realize that maybe Alexander’s a bit…hypersensitive. Yes. Let’s go with that.

Anyway, that aside…

There’s a sequel!

It’s called (wait for it): “Alexander, Who’s Not (Do you hear me? I mean it!) Going to Move”.
Good lord, Judith! Brackets in your title? What’s up with that? Simplify, girlfriend!

So. Alexander is back and ready for more whining! Only this time he’s upset because he has to move. Now, moving IS hard, and it CAN be a traumatizing challenge for a child. But…I have a few issues with the story itself. Ah, let’s just do a good ol’ fashioned list recap, shall we?

Here goes:

1. The story starts out with Alex refusing to move. And why? Because! Somehow, Alex knows that there are no children his own age on his new street (which happens to be a thousand miles away). There are kids his brothers’ ages, though. Because the world is unduly cruel to Alex.

2. Alex decides (based on the lack of boys his own age on his new street) that he will stay where he is. He’ll just move in with the neighbours! I’m sure they’ll be pleased to have a random bratty kid show up on their doorstep!

3. If the whole neighbour thing doesn’t work out, there’s always a tree house. You gotta love the picture of his parents standing below it, searching for their cleverly hidden son. The mother is sobbing…the dad kinda looks like he’s half-assing the search. “No, honey. I don’t see him anywhere. Let’s just go inside and start packing. I’m sure he’ll turn up eventually. Or not. Whatever.”

4. Alex’s brother suggests that Alex might stay at the zoo. I’m with him on that one.

5. Alex has to take one more look at all his ‘special places.’ Alex has to say goodbye to all of his ‘special people’. He complains throughout the entire process. I’m guessing the ‘special people’ are all having a party after Alex leaves. You know, because he’ll be out of their lives forever.

6. Alex decides maybe he’ll hide on his parents right before the moving van leaves. I would encourage this, if I was Alex’s mom. “Sure, son. Try to hide! And we’ll totes look for you. Honest! If we don’t find you right away, it just means you’re winning the game! Goooo you!”

7. Eventually, Alex realizes that he has to move. His parents promise that he’ll be able to call his friends long distance and they assure him that he’ll make some new pals at some point…oh, and they bribe him with a dog.

So…the moral of the story? Throw a big whiny fit when you don’t get what you want, and maybe your dad will buy you a puppy!

Judith, I did not enjoy the first story…and I enjoyed this one even less. Out of ten ridiculously long titles, I give this book a paltry three.

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