Title: I’m Sad
Author: Michael Ian Black
Illustrator: Debbie Ridpath Ohi
Published: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers, 2018

When I was a kid, my parents had, like, two parenting books to read. One of them was Dr. Spock. The other was a book of parenting jokes that someone had given to them when I was born. So they didn’t have a whole lot to go on other than well-meaning advice, gut feelings and very sparse expert guidance. These days, it’s a whole different story. There are eighty-billion parenting books, all telling you the many ways you might permanently psychologically damage your offspring.

And man, it’s stressful. That’s why I eat chocolate, people. That’s why.

What does any of this have to do with today’s book? Well, one of the things many of the parenting books (and websites and Twitter feeds and blogs…) talk about is how to deal with your children’s emotions. And sadness? That’s a biggie. Don’t mess that one up or you’re in trouble.

I TRY my very best to be okay with my kiddos not being happy all the time. Actually, if they’re mad or tired or curious or any number of other emotions, I’m absolutely fine with it. But sadness? I think it’s the default reaction of most people to want to just whisk it away. Just…don’t BE sad! It’s a message we get all the time: happy is good. Sad is bad. But is it? No, of course not. It’s normal and natural and sometimes totally, completely, 100% warranted (note to my children: not getting the Shopkins you wanted doesn’t fall into this category…at least not for more than five minutes).

That’s why I really, really liked I’m Sad by the wonderfully talented Michael Ian Black and artiste extraordinaire, Debbie Ridpath Ohi. This book follows characters we met in I’m Bored – the little girl, the flamingo and (my favourite) the potato. In I’m Sad, the flamingo is feeling blue. She* doesn’t really explain why, but she just IS. And you know what? The little girl and the potato are absolutely fine with that. Sure, they try to cheer her up, but when it becomes obvious that whatever’s on the flamingo’s mind isn’t going to go away easily, they’re fine with her mood.  They reassure her that they still like her (well, except the potato…who makes a joke that DOES get the flamingo giggling and makes her feel a bit better). They accept her for whatever she is feeling.

Which is such a tremendously powerful message for kids to hear. It’s fine to feel what you’re feeling. And maybe it’ll go away quickly, and maybe not. But your friends are there for you, regardless.

And the art. Can we talk about it for a second? It’s great. I love Debbie Ridpath Ohi’s style. It feels a bit reminiscent of Mo Willems’ art, in its simplicity and how well it conveys the characters’ emotions. The colour palette is lovely and the pictures are just a lot of fun to look at. I also like the different font styles used for each characters’ dialogue.

My kids had the following thoughts (this is after the fifth reading, mind you. Our library books get a good workout.):

Lily: “The best part was when the potato made the flamingo laugh. That was so friendly.”

Vivi: “The whole book is great. Sadness is something kids should talk about.”

And, of course, not to be left out, Karl: “The ending was really strong. And I really liked the art.”

As for me, I think I’m Sad is a gentle, kind, reassuring read. It’s the type of book all kids need to read. We will definitely be getting a copy to add to our collection!

Lily’s Rating: All the flamingos
Vivi’s Rating: A+
Mama’s Rating: Five potatoes out of five

*Note: we don’t really know the gender of the flamingo, but in this house…everything is a girl. Sorry, Karl.

Title: Good Morning, Grumple
Author: Victoria Allenby
Illustrator: Manon Gauthier
Published: Pajama Press, 2017

If you know Vivi personally, you are probably aware of her extreme grump-ish tendencies. In fact, Vivi’s nickname is Grumpkin (given to her on day three of life). My brother has always referred to her as “Grumples,” so when I saw this book at the library, I HAD to read it.

It’s the story of an exceptionally grumpy ‘Grumple’ and how to help the little critter wake up and face the day without TOO much hassle.

Because mornings for a Grumple? So hard. So very hard. My Grumple tends to be a night-owl. If Vivi set the work/school day, she’d start at around 10:00 AM and hit the hay around 10:00 PM. Hopefully, when she’s a well-paid animal dentist (her ideal career currently), she can set her own hours.

This was one of those “I liked a few buts of it, but won’t be buying it for our collection” books. Here’s the stuff I liked:

1. I liked the concept of a Grumple. Most kids aren’t super-excited to wake up every morning (Lily is the exception, and I expect this will change when she starts school in the fall). Parents can relate to the tightrope act of having to wake kids up cheerfully…but not TOO cheerfully.
2. I liked the escalation of volume that the mother uses when she’s trying to wake her Grumple up.
3. I’m unsure about the art. I like the character of the Grumple. It’s cute. But…the rest of the art…well, let’s move on to part two.

Part 2: This is the stuff I had issues with:

1. The art. I’m conflicted, because I see what the artist was doing. The book looks as if it could’ve been drawn by a child…on purpose, of course. The art appears to be made from cut paper/pencil crayon/pencil/paint. The colour palette is simple and muted. I WANT to like the art, but in my heart of hearts…I just don’t. Picture book art these days has such high standards (shout out to Mo Willems, John J. Muth, Barbara Reid, Dan Santat…the list goes on and on). I feel like you need to bring your A-game. This doesn’t feel like an A-game.
2. The rhythm of the story. Picture books are sort of like music. Reading them has to feel natural and good text has a certain cadence to it. I had a REALLY hard time finding the right way to read this book. (And if you know me, you know I give it my all when I’m reading a picture book. I am not afraid to get into character/make a fool of myself if it makes the story more fun). I tried it three different ways and, honestly, nothing felt ‘right.’
3. My kids didn’t find it funny. I thought that, at the very least, Vivi would get a kick out of the ‘Grumple’ thing. Nope. Any book my kiddos don’t get into is a bit of a surprise, as they love a wide variety of stories. They didn’t want to hear this one again.
4. I know I’m being picky, but there’s an incorrect usage of ‘it’s’ in the story. It should be ‘its’ but there’s a pesky apostrophe popping in where it shouldn’t be. Yeah, it’s minor…but this is a published, printed book. It shouldn’t have typos.

So…yeah. I don’t love doing reviews of books I don’t enjoy, but there you go. I had high hopes, but this one just left me feeling…well…grumpy.

Mama’s Review: C-Game
Lily’s Review: Meh.

Title: Have You Seen Birds?
Author: Joanne Oppenheim
Illustrator: Barbara Reid
Published: Scholastic, 1986

You guys, I feel kind of silly. I called myself a HUGE picture book fan, but I wasn’t familiar with the work of the uber-talented Toronto-based artist, Barbara Reid.

Until I had kids, that is.

Barbara Reid is a phenomenal artist. The first book of hers that we received was Welcome, Baby. We had a book-themed baby shower for Vivi and one of my dear friends gave us a copy. I don’t know if it was pregnancy hormones or the fact that the book is just beautifully written and illustrated, but I totally bawled when I read it. And, I’m not ashamed to admit, I still get teary-eyed when I read it now. (Even though my kiddos are ‘too old’ for board books, there are some that still live on our shelves. And occasionally I force them to listen to them once more. I figure having a mom like me will be character-building in the long run.)

Whenever we see Ms. Reid’s books at Chapters or in the Scholastic book order, we make sure to add them to our library. One of Lily’s favourites is Have You Seen Birds? It’s not new (although it was in a recent book order), but it was new to us. What’s it about? Well, in a word: birds.

But in more words, it’s about different types of birds, where they live, what they look like, what they eat – useful information like that. And the pictures? Well, they’re excellent. Barbara Reid illustrates in plasticine. This gives the illustrations a totally different look than if they were drawn in any other medium. There’s a real 3-D quality to every picture, and the details and textures are wonderful.

The story itself is minimal, almost poetic. But it works really well with the pictures, is fun to read aloud and makes for a great pre-bedtime story. Lily can name almost every single species of bird in the book, and has only one criticism to share: “Where’s the red-winged-blackbird? He seems to be missing.”

(Back story: Lily has a special relationship with a red-winged-blackbird that frequents our bird feeder. His name is Montaboo and she loves him. She was dismayed he didn’t make the book.)

Beyond that, however, it’s a pretty well perfect picture book. Let’s hear it for the birds!

Mama’s review: 5/5 delicious worms
Lily’s review: “I still love it, even if Monty is missing.”

Title: School’s First Day of School
Author: Adam Rex
Pictures: Christian Robinson
Published: Scholastic, 2016

Do you guys know how fast time flies when you’re a mom? Fast. Really, really fast.  Until now, I’d never really understood what MY mom meant when she said, “Just blink and she’ll be in school. Then she’ll be graduating grade 8. Then she’ll be graduating high school. Then university. Then getting her masters. Then her doctorate. Then having kids of her own. It’ll happen like THAT!” (She snaps her fingers at this point.)

OK, so maybe it’s not THAT fast (my mother is known for being *slightly* into hyperbole), but man. I didn’t figure Lily would be in kindergarten SO SOON.

Like, September soon. Three months, people. THREE.

We’ve been REALLY talking up the whole school thing. Lily is exceptionally shy with people she doesn’t know (and exceptionally loud and outgoing at home), so we’re trying to get her stoked about starting something new/making friends/learning all kinds of cool things. It helps that the principal at her school is really amazing and understanding and has already dealt with the challenges of Vivi.

One thing I’ve been doing (subtly) is reading more school-related books. Lily really, really likes School’s First Day of School. As do I! It’s just perfect for anyone who happens to feel slightly apprehensive about the start of a new school year. It’s written by the fabulous Adam Rex (we own so many of his books now…my favourite is still Nothing Rhymes with Orange, but the girls are giant The Legend of Rock, Paper, Scissors fans too) and illustrated by the uber-talented Christian Robinson. (I love Last Stop on Market Street and When’s My Birthday?)

Here’s why the book works so well:

1. The art. Picture books need good art. There, I said it. Christian Robinson is such an amazingly talented illustrator. I wish I had, like, 1/100th of his skill. The pictures are bright and colourful and engaging. The textures and colours he uses are so playful and just suit the story perfectly. I’m a fan!
2. The story is simple but clever. I really like “At three o’clock, the parents came to pick up the children. At three-thirty, Janitor came to pick up the school.” The story is well-written and fun. (I also like the multiple Aidens and a Caiden in the kindergarten room. #accurate)
3. The school is so earnest and wants so much to be liked (just like every single kid on their first day).

So, in conclusion, you need this book ASAP. Especially if you have a little one starting school in the fall. Which I do.

I still can’t believe it.

Mama’s Review: 5/5 smiling schools

Lily’s Review: I love this book!

Title: Diary of an Awesome Friendly Kid (Rowley Jefferson’s Journal)
Author/Illustrator: Jeff Kinney
Published: Amulet Books, 2019

Guys, guys, guys. I’ve been putting off writing this review for two weeks. Every time I start, I stop.

This is a really tough one for me.

See, I love Jeff Kinney’s Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. Or, I loved it. Love? Loved? I don’t know. Because Diary of an Awesome Friendly Kid has changed my view of the ENTIRE series.

Let me back this review up. Pump the brakes. Give you some backstory.

Backstory

I fell in love with Diary of a Wimpy Kid when Greg Heffley existed only online. I worked for a children’s website at that point, and we kept an eye on our competitors. I found DOAWK one day and read it all in one sitting. I thought Greg was an awkward, snarky, geeky character who occasionally did kind things. He was never, ever what I’d call a bully.

I own every single DOAWK book (truth: my husband buys me the latest one for Christmas every year). And, yeah, they’re not ALL totally amazing, but they’re fun to read and book 3 (The Last Straw) has one of the funniest scenes I’ve ever seen in an MG book. (Spoiler alert: it’s all about how Shel Silverstein looks more like a pirate than a children’s author. It’s hilariously funny. I laughed out loud when I first read the book.)

Which brings us to now.

Safe to say, I was excited to discover Rowley’s diary in the Scholastic book order.

Excited, but a bit nervous.

See, Rowley has had his moments in the series, but mostly he’s sort of the Rod/Todd Flanders to Greg’s geeky Bart. Rowley hasn’t ever shown a great deal of personality (beyond being a major goody-goody) – and definitely not enough to make up an entire book.

So, in my mind, Jeff Kinney had two choices:

1. To give Rowley a personality.
2. To run with the fact that Rowley doesn’t have much of a personality, but to put him into situations that are funny/interesting, and test his goody-goody nature.

Apparently there was a third choice:

3. Create a book that ignores 13 prior books and ventures into totally new territory.

The book starts with Rowley introducing Greg almost immediately. He tells the reader that although Greg is his friend, his parents don’t like Greg (I feel you, Jeffersons). It’s very clear why. On page 7, Greg ‘whaps’ Rowley upside the head with his own diary.

Wait, what?

This is just the start of Greg’s immense jackassery. Here, in no particular order of jerkiness, are some of the things Greg did in this book:

1. Egged Mr. Jefferson’s car.
2. Made Rowley write his (Greg’s) biography, instead of a book about himself (Rowley).
3. Stole Rowley’s bike.
4. Made Rowley the butt of his jokes.
5. Ditched Rowley in the woods at night and went home to watch TV.
6. Tricked Rowley into thinking a burglar had broken into his house, then got mad when Rowley freaked out and fought back (with a tennis racket).
7. Chased Rowley with a slug.
8. Created fake awards for Rowley to make him his own personal servant.
9. Was a complete and total monster at the library when they were meant to be studying.
10. Cheated from Rowley on a math test.
11. Wrecked the ONE nice thing he did for Rowley by telling him that he (Rowley) owed him (Greg) a ton more favours.
12. Lied to Rowley about random things.
13. Locked Rowley outside at night.
14. Laughed at Rowley’s creative ideas.
15. Nicknamed Rowley “Stoop.”
16. Licked Rowley’s food.
17. Wouldn’t let Rowley use the bathroom at a sleepover.
18. Whapped Rowley with a book again.

    All of these things paint Greg in a REALLY negative light. Like, who on earth would want to read 13 books about this kind of bully? I don’t know why, as an author, you’d throw out 13 books of canon and just…start over? Make up completely new characters? I mean, Greg has never been a saint…but…he’s never been like THAT either. Why, Jeff Kinney? Why? Where’s the funny, dry humour combined with absurd situations we’ve grown to know and love? (The one decent part of this book was the series of “Zoo-Wee Mama” strips. They felt like OG DOAWK).

    One more thing…
    I know a kid who’s been bullied this year…a LOT. I know what it’s done to him and his family. Some people will argue that the events in DOAAFK are just kids being goofy. But here’s the thing: it’s a completely unbalanced relationship. Rowley rarely, if ever, gets Greg back. It’s all one-sided and Rowley’s the victim. And formerly geeky, snarky, not-awful Greg is now a complete bully and total ass. I am SO behind the Jeffersons – they’re right: Rowley needs new friends.

    So, what next?
    Welp, if it was me writing this, I’d pretend DOAAFK never existed and go back to writing about Greg being the kid he’s always been. And, truthfully, I’d wrap up the series. Better to leave on a high note than, well, something like this.

Mama’s Review: Man. I’m so disappointed. I don’t even have a clever rating system for it.

Title: When Stella was very, very small
Author/Illustrator: Marie-Louise Gay
Published: Groundwood Books, 2009

I am lucky. I have many, many old friends. (That is, friends I’ve known for a long time, not elderly friends…although I do have a few of those as well!) One of those dear friends just joined the parenthood club. Alok and his lovely wife, Steph, had a brand new baby and her name is…Stella! In her honour, I thought I’d take a look at this book (which is one of a series, by the way).

First of all, Marie-Louise Gay’s illustrations are lovely. I WISH I could draw, peeps. I really do. I have enough skills to impress my four-year-old (Vivi, my six-year-old is already critical of my work), but not too much beyond that. I’m mildly better at cutting stuff out and building pictures with paper, but…you know…

Marie-Louise Gay, I ain’t.

So I am enamoured with the art. It’s so dreamy and sweet and…just perfect for the story.

The story is, unsurprisingly, all about when Stella was little. It’s simple and poetic…here are a couple of my favourite lines:

“When Stella was very, very small, words looked like ants running off the pages. Butterflies flew on the walls and cups jumped off the table, just like that!”

“Beyond the tropical jungle, there was a desert that stretched on forever. One terribly windy day, Stella nearly lost her way during a wild sandstorm.”

The story continues with Stella growing up and all the things that used to be hard/too challenging for her become easy. And she can read! Which means she can read stories to her little brother, Sam. (Aw!)

Lily loves the Stella books. We usually read them before bed because they’re quite soporific. Vivi is, as I am constantly reminded these days, too old for such things. (She actually said she “has completely outgrown” Paw Patrol. I vacillated between being dismayed and overjoyed. I mean, mad love to Paw Patrol…but it’s been years, people. Years of “Paw Patrol is on a roll!” Lily still loves those pups, though, so it’s not like we’re going to be able to NOT watch it quite yet.)

If you’ve got a little one with a gentle spirit and a sweet heart (totally Lily), you need Stella in your life.

Mama’s review: A
Lily’s review: “Stella is the CUTEST!”

Title: Truck Full of Ducks
Author/Illustrator: Ross Burach
Published: Scholastic, 2018

Here’s something you probably don’t know about me: I love ducks. Like, probably to an absurd degree. For instance, last week I went to High Park with Lily and my bestie. We happened to see a whole flock of ducks hanging out by a pond. I honestly, truly, wholeheartedly thought that if I just got down on their level and encouraged them in a friendly way, they’d come over and…I don’t know…hang out with me? Tell me duck stuff? Show me where to find the best nesting sites? Introduce me to a nice drake? Truthfully, any of those scenarios would’ve been fine. Realistically, I would’ve settled for just patting their feathery little heads. Sadly, they took one look at me, realized my promises of cut-up grapes were nothing but lies and quacked away angrily.

Ahem.

So, it makes sense that I also enjoy duck-related kid-lit. And I definitely enjoyed Truck Full of Ducks. Here’s why:

1. The art is great. Ross Burach is a terrific illustrator. His characters are consistently cute and funny. I love the details he adds (in this story, for instance, the ducks were sharing a large ‘Bladder Buster’ drink and this resulted in an unplanned bathroom stop). I also like the “Don’t worry, be quacky” bumper sticker. I’d stick that on my car. I’m not too good for a duck bumper sticker.
2. The story is simple, but the ending is good. Sometimes stories are simple the whole way through (see: The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Whistle for Willie), and sometimes they are simple and then have a great payoff (see: I Want My Hat Back, After the Fall). This falls into the latter category. We, as adult readers, know that the truck full of ducks isn’t going to meet with an untimely demise…but little readers (like Lily) were actually concerned about some of the choices they were making near the end of the book. (Direct quote: “That’s not a smart place to go! Get back in the truck and leave, ducks!”)
3. I like doing voices when I read stories. There are multiple characters that lend themselves well to setting your inner voice-actor free. (Fun fact: I actually have done voice acting in the past. It’s lots of fun and I really do like it, despite being a hardcore introvert. It’s kind of the perfect mix of acting and hiding. You get to let loose while not having anyone see your face. Win-win!) If you’re reading this story, dig deep and get silly.

The only other thing I’d say is this: this story is definitely for the younger (<5 year old) crowd. Vivi was 100% not interested. She’s really into The Princess in Black, the BSC graphic novels, and the Owl Diaries right now, though. So…picture books aren’t really her thing anymore. (Sob!)

If you’re looking for a funny, simple, enjoyable read, check out Truck Full of Ducks. And if you know where to get a REAL truck full of ducks, hook a sister up.

Mama’s review: 5 ducks/5

Lily’s review: “Those ducks are adorable!”

Title: I Need a Hug
Author/Illustrator: Aaron Blabey
Published: Scholastic, 2015

Have I mentioned how much I love the Scholastic book order? Like, my kids enjoy it, but I kind of love it on a different level. When I was a kid, we didn’t have a lot of money, so I was *sometimes* allowed to get a book or two. (Side note: the top three best purchases I ever made from the Scholastic book order were: a novel about Helen Keller; the behind-the-scenes pictorial review of Full House, as written by DJ Tanner herself; and a scratch-and-sniff sticker book – which my mother threw out, but I’m totally over it and don’t think about it on a daily basis or anything.)

Ahem.

Anyway, my kids are allowed to get a few books with each order. (Alright, alright…more than a few. But, to be fair, some of them are for me. Wait, that doesn’t sound better. Never mind.)

So. The most recent order included this book by Aaron Blabey. Both of my girls were able to recognize his art style, and immediately said, “That’s the guy who wrote Thelma the Unicorn!” Yes, indeed. We love Thelma in this house, and we were hoping to feel the same way about this book.

Here’s what we liked:

1. The art is, as usual, hilarious. The characters are adorable and I love the porcupine. His wide-eyed, slightly panicky look speaks to me on many levels.
2.  The rhyming text. I think the fact that the text rhymes and is humorous helps this story along because without it, it would feel like just another “porcupine isn’t getting any love” story (See: No Hugs for Porcupine, How Do You Hug a Porcupine, related: Hedgehog Needs a Hug). The concept isn’t unique, but the execution is good.
3.  The girls liked the ending, where the snake and porcupine were hugging. The porcupine found love. Aw.

I thought the book was sweet, but definitely for a younger crowd. My two are almost *too* old for it. Especially V (who is fully obsessed with the BSC graphic novels). This book would be nice for a preschool or kindergarten, though.

So did we love the porcupine as much as Thelma? Well, no. But will we read I Need a Hug again? Definitely.

Mama’s review: B+
Vivi’s review: I really liked the art. Especially Ken the moose!
Lily’s review: That porcupine finally found a friend. That was the best part.

Title: Thank You, Mr. Panda
Author/Illustrator: Steve Antony
Published: Scholastic, 2018

Mr. Panda, Mr. Panda, Mr. Panda. We have to talk. First, let me just say that I was 100% on your side in Please, Mr. Panda. I, like you, am a bit of a stickler for manners. I couldn’t believe those animals, just demanding donuts like that’s how we do things around here.  I think giving the donuts to the lemur was totally the right idea and I applaud your judgement. What an upstanding panda, said I to myself.

And then I read this book.

Mr. Panda, what the heck, dude?  Have your lost your furry mind?

For those of you who haven’t read this instalment in the Mr. Panda series, here’s a quick overview:

1. Mr. Panda is back! He’s accompanied by his buddy, Lemur. They are walking around giving out presents. So far, so good.
2. The presents are as follows (see if you can see the problem here):
   Mouse: overly large sweater
   Octopus: six socks
   Elephant: says she’ll open it later, appears to be donuts based on end picture.
   Mountain goat: extremely long scarf
   Lemur: extra-large undies
3. After each animal receives their less-than-well-thought-out gift, Lemur reminds them “It’s the thought that counts.”

OK, so here’s my issue: the gifts didn’t appear to be thought out at ALL. Why would you get a mouse a very large sweater, Mr. Panda? Don’t you know the size and/or preferences of your friends?  As someone who prides herself on giving gifts people will like, it irks me to have to be all enthusiastic about a gift that was clearly last-minute/not purchased with the receiver’s enjoyment in mind.

I mean, I get it. We want kids to be grateful for what they get, even if that thing is disappointing/not what they wanted/not what they hoped for/kind of lame. But…c’mon. The octopus has TWO missing socks, peeps. Two. Did Mr. Panda not even remember the number of arms his friend has?

Anyway, I have two related anecdotes.

1. When my little brother was five, my nana gave him an RC car. He LOVED it. He wanted nothing more than that gift. It was the first gift he opened, and my poor aunt had to follow up with…a turtleneck. My brother, being the polite little fellow he was, opened the turtleneck, gave it the most cursory glance possible and flung it over his shoulder while saying “Thanks, it’s just what I always wanted!” and continued playing with the car. Thankfully, my aunt has an excellent sense of humour and laughed it off. So, points to Ravenclaw for good manners…but…his heart really wasn’t in it.
2. A few years ago, an individual (who shall not be named) gave out random ornaments to our family at Christmas. They were all EXACTLY the same and purchased from the dollar store, but this person made a really big deal about having to give each person a ‘special’ one and awaiting our gushing thanks. (This was not a child handing these out, mind you.) We all said, “OH, THANK YOU!” because, manners. But really? It was a last-minute gift that was clearly given no thought whatsoever.

So I get the point. We’ve all got to be grateful for any gift. But by the same token, we need to think about those that we’re giving to and really consider what they might like. I honestly thought the end of the story was going to involve the animals swapping the gifts and then everyone thanking each other. Maybe Mr. Panda just confused the gifts! Maybe it was all a big mix-up! Label the packages, Mr. P!

Alas, no.

Lily was surprised the book ended when it did. She asked if there were pages missing, so I don’t think she felt the issues were adequately resolved. I kind of have to agree.

Mr. Panda, we WANTED to love this book as much as we love Please, Mr. Panda (which is a lot), but…there was just something missing in this one. Mr. Panda doesn’t seem to get the idea of joyful giving, and generally seems to be giving a big, furry middle finger to the critters he’s purchased presents for.

And that’s not good manners at all, Mr. Panda.

Mama’s Review: 3/5 pandas  (most of those pandas are for the art, which is fantastic)

Lily’s Review: “So that’s just how the story ends? Huh.”

Title: Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs
Author/Illustrator: Mo Willems
Published: Balzer & Bray (HarperCollins), 2012

When I was three, my grandma bought me a book called “Goldilocks.” It was the classic tale, but with TOTALLY late-seventies-early-eighties-style art. It was the art that won my little heart (it was so chunky and cute), but the story was exceptionally lacklustre. Like, picture your uncle who doesn’t really like children telling you a story just to get it over with. Like that. No pizzazz! No flowery language. Just the facts.

In short, it was boring.

Thankfully, my kiddos have Mo Willems’ Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs to entertain them. Now, you’re all well aware of my incredible admiration/fandom when it comes to Mr. Willems. I think he’s brilliant. His work is exceptional and he understands what kids find funny in a way very few others do.

This book does not disappoint.

The art is, as per usual, hilarious. The thing Mo Willems does best, IMHO, is expressions. His characters aren’t overly complicated, in terms of “could I draw something that looks approximately like that dinosaur? Yes!” but the expressiveness is off the charts. In no universe can I make a dinosaur look that devious.

Aside from the fabulous pictures, the story is laugh-out-loud funny. It starts when you first open the book. On the inside back of the cover and first page (and on the back of the last page and inside back cover), there are other ‘possible’ titles for the book, all crossed out. Personal favourites include: Goldilocks and the Three Rocket Scientists, Goldilocks and the Three Foot-Long Hoagies and Goldilocks and the Three Major Networks.

Not gonna lie, I’d read those.

Anyway, the story is based on the original, of course, but it’s also a bit different. First, instead of bears, there are dinosaurs. Next, instead of porridge, there’s chocolate pudding. And instead of breaking Baby Bear’s chair, Goldilocks just refuses to climb up the insanely high dino chairs.

The funniest bits:

• The dinosaurs purposely went for a walk and left their pudding in the kitchen with a handily-placed ladder, so any small wandering children might climb up and help themselves. Why? Because dinos love delicious chocolate-filled-little-girl-bonbons.
• The dinosaur from Norway is awesome.
• The whole sequence with the chairs is really well written.
• The ending is super. More about that in a sec.
• Throughout the story, there are hilarious side notes about the dinosaurs’ exclamations as they’re supposed to be hidden. Like when Mama Dino yells loudly and then Mo suggests “But that could have been a rock falling. Or a squirrel.”

As in the original, Goldilocks ends up in the bedroom. Unlike the original, in this book she realizes something: the furniture in the house is gigantic. And the sign on the wall suggests that perhaps the home does not belong to bears.

Goldilocks puts the pieces together at the last possible moment and escapes.

The dinosaurs return from their walk and they find that Goldilocks has dashed out the back door. Which was accidentally left unlocked.

Whoops.

The moral of the story for Goldilocks is: If you find yourself in the wrong story, leave.

And for the dinosaurs? Lock the back door! (I love the disapproving look Mama Dinosaur is giving the two others. She’s holding the key like, “Seriously. You guys had ONE JOB.”)

Mama’s Review: 10/10
Lily’s Review: “I like the part where they are in the forest, trying to hide. I could totally see them.”